By Ned Kuhne
Who is the mysterious Christie Legedza?
It’s a question scientists have been trying to answer for a quarter of a century, without notable success. Writer, sure. Carbon-based life form, probable. Post-punk enthusiast, without question. But what do these things really tell us? What do we know? Who is she?
I spoke to a former workmate (on the condition I didn’t reveal their name) who told me they had personally seen her listen to nothing but Car Seat Headrest for a week straight, without speaking to another human being.
I tracked down a bartender who swears he saw her glass a cop during an argument about Television.
A third source said she once burned a friend’s house down when they didn’t return her copy of the self-titled Suicide album, but I’m pretty sure that’s just a rumour.
Enjoys Steinbeck. Hates Hemingway. Likes rum. Sneers at vodka (except the bison grass stuff).
What to make of all this? If I knew, I’d tell you.
A note from CL
This information is factually accurate.